Day 20 of Social Isolation

How is everyone doing? No matter how tough it is for us, it's a hell of a lot tougher for those on the frontline. We have to pull our weight to make their jobs easier.

From our girl, Alanis Morissette's Thank U, Chris Mann has created an ode of thanks to all the hardworking men and women out there who are keeping us all alive while we self-isolate.

Chris Mann Thank U Frontline (Alanis Morissette)

And after you've done that, if you're in Canada, head on over to flatten.ca and log in your COVID-19 data. This resource is being used by doctors and scientists in the country to figure out where we are headed.  It took me about three minutes to plunk in my info.

FLATTEN is a not-for-profit organization platform for collecting and providing real time information regarding the spread of COVID-19 in your local community and around the nation.

Stay home. If you must go out, wash your hands for 20 seconds with soap before and after you return. Don't touch your face! (hard one to remember). And practice two metres of social distancing when you're in public.

The sooner we flatten the curve, the sooner we can get outta here.

Day 12. iTunes Legal. The Sequel.

Two years.
Five DMCA take down notices filed.
One query from an Apple legal representative.
Two emails from beleaguered author.
Result:
https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/the-grey-lady/id560171274?mt=11

I swear I will leave this post up for posterity if they remove The Grey Lady and the last laugh is on me.

Here's the thing: If you are not ready to sell books, then don't sell books. If you don't like dealing with authors and their pissy-diva complaints, then don't sell books. If you want lovely content to lure buyers to your freakishly expensive devices, then you'll be dealing with human beings who write books. If you don't want to deal with them, then don't sell books.

The thing about Corporate Image is it can't just be an image. The way a corporation treats its smallest customer is the measuring stick of their integrity, not a glossy ad campaign telling us you have integrity. I wrote a book. It was published. Shit happened and now we want the book removed from the iTunes Store. Easy-peasy. Literally every other book retailer managed to pull off this wondrous feat as soon as they were notified.

At the moment, I can't enroll The Grey Lady in KDP Select because it is being SOLD on iTunes without permission or payment in direct violation of copyright. This means I can't hold the promotions I planned for this summer. This means lost revenue.

It's not rocket science, Apple iTunes. It's book-selling and if you can't take the heat, get out of the kitchen.

(Speaking of ad campaigns, for the love of God, will the Conservative Party give us a break from those truly stupid Justin Trudeau attack ads? Running them every 15 minutes is not helping. One of the actors carps from a script about Mr. Trudeau's hair and all I can think about is his hair compared to Mr. Harper's hair and then I wonder 'Why am I thinking about hair?' In the meantime, Mr. Trudeau has an ad running about the issues facing middle-class Canadians. No mention of hair. Do the math, gentlemen.)

vigil: n. 1. night-time period of staying awake to look after a sick person, pray, etc.

My fledgling career as a writer is either on life support or growing healthier by the second--I have no way of knowing because I'm not there. Literary forces are at work in faraway lands.

Nothing to do but light a candle. Hold vigil. Seek solace in company of same in Rejection and Dejection at Absolute Write's Water Cooler. My personal favourite is: Purgatory's Pit of Doom.

It's funny like a heart attack. Speaking of heart attacks...

A gentleman called my home the other day looking for my Significant Other, but finding me in a weak moment of answering the bloody phone, said brightly: "I understand you're an author."
Me (deep in Slough of Despond): "Um, yep. I, yeah, wrote a book."
Gent: "That's wonderful. You know, a friend of mine--nice guy--had a triple bypass and when he came out of the surgery, he sat down and wrote like crazy every day for like 6 months. The words just poured out of him. And then..."(Gent gives a soft chuckle that speaks volumes) "He shows his writing to an agent and boy! He landed a huge contract with a big publishing house and I think there's even a movie deal. And it all happened in 6 months!"
Me (mercifully too sleep deprived from nightly vigils to feel much): "Wow. That's, um, swell."
Gent (after a respectful silence signalling he expected more enthusiasm from me for his triple-bypass buddy): "And so you're an author too?"

Lessons from the Pit: Writing is not for wimps and triple bypass guys have all the luck.