In the interests of trying to connect with family who only respond to shit on Facebook, I tried once again to open an account. This was the message I received after filling out the form with my real name:
We require everyone to use the name they use in everyday life, what their friends call them, on Facebook. Learn more about our name policies.
They don't tell you what those policies are or where to find them. I did a search in Help and found this:
www.facebook.com/help/112146705538576/?helpref=uf_share
As you can see, there is nothing helpful about the Help. So when prompted to respond to the query "Did this answer your question?" I bit back the foul language I had stored up (They only give you 500 characters to vent your spleen) and wrote this reply (paraphrasing):
I'm using my given-at-birth-name that is on all my government documents and is accepted by every social media site on the PLANET except Facebook. I guess you've never heard of Gen. James Doolittle who led the raid on Tokyo called the "Doolittle Raid". In the interest of connecting with family, I tried to set up an account and was given this message: We require everyone to use the name they use in everyday life, what their friends call them, on Facebook. Learn more about our name policies. Really? FFS.
So pathetic. They won't figure it out. Not now, not ever. I'm only posting this to let any random family member who nags me to "Join Facebook!" know that their addiction to the conglomerate that shuts out one of their own is why they'll never hear from me.
And friends who urge me to send documents to this fuckwit enterprise in order to get an account so they can contact me - that's a hard pass.
To all of the book marketers out there who email me daily hoping to get my enrollment fees in their Facebook courses - good luck with that.
To everyone with whom I might do business with if only you weren't Facebook exclusive with your advertising, I guess I'll never know what I've missed, but I'm a little richer today.
And to all of you who rant on Facebook daily about a long list of grievances now at work in the world - YOU are the problem because you feed the beast that LOVES keeping those issues alive and well and flourishing in the hearts of humankind. Well done, you.
Put in that light, Fuckbook has done me a favour. This Doolittle is out.
Excellent rant, Nadine! I took a break from FB for a year and a half but been checking it out again lately and I'm reminded of how it brings little that it a truly positive to our lives. Sure, it's helpful to learn about lost pets or if someone has died but that's about it (and you have hubby for that - he can catch you up on that stuff). You're not missing anything and I don't blame you for being mad at FB. Phone and email work quite well for keeping in touch with people. Love your blog, my friend. And sending you a big anti-Facebook hug!!
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